Kristen Henderlong

I have been feeling convicted lately about how I am living.

Conviction is tricky because it’s easy to twist it in my mind and believe I am being ‘condemned,’ when the truth is: conviction is a sign the Spirit of God is working in me to make me aware.

When I say I feel convicted about “how I am living” I am not really referring to anything in particular as far as living against what I believe.  I am not seeking out sin or bad things.  I am not deliberately ignoring God.  I simply notice how complacent I have become in my walk with Him.

However, as a side note, if you are feeling convicted of sin, I speak from experience when I say– don’t run from God believing you are condemned.  Don’t cower from Him.  Turn your eyes to Him, invite Him into that place you are trapped in because He welcomes you with open arms when you “repent” or turn to Him.  Even if you are already a Christian and think you shouldn’t be messing up when you know about Jesus.  He makes you whole and you cannot be complete without Him.  So surrender and let Him do His thing.  It’s the best decision you will ever make.

This year I made it a priority to start reading the Bible consistently again.  I know it’s important, and I have been hungry for truth. I have been longing to hear God’s voice.  But recently I noticed my hesitation to read the book of Acts…

If you are not super familiar with the book of Acts, it’s the beginning of the Church.  After the resurrection of Jesus, the Holy Spirit came upon His disciples/apostles. Then they scattered and began preaching and teaching the Gospel everywhere.  The historical accounts in the book of Acts are from this timeframe.  They traveled, spoke boldly and healed people in the name of Jesus.

It was intense… their lives were at stake; they were persecuted, beaten, thrown in jail and lived in a constant state of having no idea what to expect around the corner.  I am sure they often went hungry and didn’t always have a comfortable place to sleep.  People rejected them, stoned them, and wanted them dead.

Yet here I am over here living the cushy life.  I have a warm place to sleep every night.  I have a car, some extra money and most people in my life like me (that I’m aware of).  I go to work, I come home and take pleasure in luxurious activities… watch TV, go for a walk, eat what I want.  I exercise to stay healthy and plan fun things.  I have very little day to day conflict in my life.

So what do I do with this?  Lately it’s so unsettling to me.

Don’t get me wrong— I’ve been through my fair share of hardships and struggles.  We all have traumas, mental and emotional barriers to overcome.  But it’s so much different than what the disciples were choosing day in and day out.  Many of my struggles happened as a simple result of life and then some were a direct result of my poor choices—natural consequences.

I cannot tell you a time I was faced with a life or death situation as a result of my faith.  I have no examples of times I shared the gospel so boldly that I risked going to jail.  Yet I go to work and I can’t say the name of Jesus without fear of being judged.  God forbid I am uncomfortable for 2 minutes.

I know, I know— times have changed.  Centuries have transpired and lead us to where we are today.  Many people gave their lives so we could have the comforts and freedoms we have now. I definitely don’t mean to sound ungrateful.  I know it’s not the same.

But you know what is the same?  The Great I Am…  The God who moved in power then, still moves in power now, so we shouldn’t settle.  We certainly shouldn’t fear.  We shouldn’t let the comforts of this life put us in positions of oblivious complacency.  We cannot be distracted from the reality of God’s Kingdom at work.

Maybe this looks like going to volunteer on a Tuesday night rather than getting take out and watching TV.  Maybe it means giving up your vacation days to go on a mission trip to help someone restore their home after a hurricane.  Maybe it means telling someone at work that you will be praying for them even if they’ve never professed being a Christian. Maybe it means being uncomfortable… unsettled… even for 2 minutes.

Holy Spirit, make us aware of how You are moving among us.  Give us discernment in conversations and interactions with others.  Give us strength to be bold and uncomfortable for Your glory and for Your Kingdom.  Protect us from the lies that hold us back from doing Your will.  Forgive us for falling short.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Remember: You are loved.