Kristen Henderlong

I am sitting down to write today and feel very unprepared.  I do not necessarily feel inspired.  There’s nothing pressing on my heart to share.

Or maybe I’ve just been too distracted lately to even reflect and hear from God.  That’s probably more the case than anything.

Life gets busy, I know.  It’s normal to go through phases of being distracted.  But I have made a commitment to myself and my readers to be consistent and disciplined with my writing.

So welcome to the most raw and random blog post.  I am trusting the Spirit to speak as I write because I literally have nothing.

Something I noticed over the last few months— a correlation between my “God time” and my blogging efforts— when I am lacking time spent with Jesus, my inspiration dulls and I face writers block.  It’s humbling to recognize that now and be sharing it with you here, but hey, it’s real.

My desire here is to always keep it real.

Over a decade ago, I remember praying desperately for “God’s reality” to be shown to me.  I had just finished my first year of college.  After comparing my life to several classmates at this Bible school, I was painfully aware of my shallow faith.  However, I was also aware of the fact that I was still very young and had been fortunate enough to be raised in a safe and sheltered home.  Therefore, my life altering experiences were very few… I had been protected from the ways of the world.

I am not saying my life was perfect, because it definitely wasn’t.  But I certainly thought I had it all together as far as being a “good person.”  Yet every day I witnessed fellow students and of course professors who just radiated God’s love and maintained such a presence of peace that I couldn’t fathom.

Though I believe anyone young can be wise beyond their years, I also think genuine depth and strength of character is built through trials, failure and a life of surrendering to God through it all.  We are refined by fire (1 Pet. 1:7).  I knew I was lacking depth and understanding of God because I was still so young.  My passion and desperation for Him only went so far.

I perceived the possibility of a deep relationship with God, but was not really seeing the fruit of it in my life and I definitely wasn’t always feeling it.

There was so much knowledge floating around in my brain, too.  After studying the Bible in class, taking Mission and Evangelizing courses, attending chapel twice a week— I was overwhelmed with Christian jargon.  I was consumed with information; some of which was contradictory.

My point is— I knew God was more than what I was learning in class.  I knew He couldn’t be confined to these textbooks and projects I had to do.  I knew He was real, not just a bunch of theories on a page.

So I prayed.  I asked God for HIS reality, not mine.  I didn’t want to be ruled by my perceptions of the Christian faith, or by what others said about Him.  I wanted to know HIM… the Source; the Maker; the Beginning; the Real One; the I AM.

And let me tell ya, He came through.  He answered my prayers 10-fold.

Little did I know the following years would be the most mind altering, faith shaking, reality striking years of my life.  It was a series of many experiences, choices and failures I cannot get into now, but some day we will go there together.

For now, trust me when I say— God answers prayer, He is the realest of the real, and there is no formula to relationship with Him.

So if you are feeling out of the loop; if you are feeling a little shallow in your faith— press into Him and ask.  Don’t wait.

I talk about reading God’s word to grow in faith, but let me just leave you with this verse from John chapter 5: “You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to me!  Yet you refuse to come to me to receive this life” (John 5:39-40).

Jesus was speaking to Jewish leaders who were known for their knowledge and understanding of God.  People looked to the Jewish leaders as “the God people.”  They were the ones who had the answers and information about how to live right and abide by God’s law.  But that’s just it: they focused too much on the law, the words, the rules and the knowledge, that they didn’t recognize their own Messiah when He was right in front of them.

I don’t want to live by the spirit of knowledge.  I want the spirit of truth.  I want the real thing.  

Truth is a person.  His name is Jesus.

Remember: You are Loved.

P.S. As soon as I typed the word real the first time in this post, I knew what I had to write about.  God is good.