Kristen Henderlong

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another.”

Hebrews 10:23-25

Do you go to church?  That’s an interesting question these days.  If you do go, how often and what denomination?  What do they believe in?  Do you feel welcome there?  Do you have friends there?

I know— it’s overwhelming.

There’s so many different denominations.  Someone who didn’t grow up going to one may feel a little confused and lost on the subject.  I mean If you are thinking about going to one, how do you know which one?  How do you know what’s truth and what isn’t?

You cannot deny there’s endless division.  The specific rules, doctrine and traditions vary.  The look of the building, the sacraments, the structure of the leadership, etc— it’s all inconsistent from place to place.  But why?

I have wrestled with these things as a ministry student at a Bible college, and then wrestled with it in the real world.  I was raised in the denomination called Wesleyan.  It’s a branch (divided from) off of the Methodist tradition.  Honestly I couldn’t tell you the differences exactly.

I hate to bore you with all of that, but to this day I struggle to communicate to others why I would pick one church over another, when the truth is—sometimes I don’t want to go to church at all.

I have to confess I spent the last 7 years neglecting my church attendance.  My motivation has been lacking and my commitment—nonexistent.

But the longer I let it be like this, the more I realized something significant missing from my life.  I thought, “oh I just need to pray more… I just need to read my Bible and spend time with God more.”  But through reflection and prayer I believe the Holy Spirit made it blatantly clear to me I was missing a vital piece to my faith journey.

Consistent Christian Community.

I took for granted what I had growing up: a divine family that encouraged me, loved me, prayed for me and with me.  They were there to verbally process the Bible, my faith, and difficult circumstances.  I could be vulnerable and trust I wouldn’t be judged.  I learned from them and their personal experiences with Jesus.

Not only that, but I was missing the opportunity to deeply give of myself for someone else’s benefit.  The feeling of encouraging another believer and getting to pray with them.

Purpose.  I was lacking purpose.  And what other purpose do we have in this life than relationship?  Nothing else compares.

Relationship with God IS about relationship with His people and vice versa.  You cannot have one without the other.  The two main commands Jesus gave, which sum up all of the 10 commandments: to love God AND love others (Matt. 22:37-39).

DUH Kristen!

So what could I do about this? Just going to church was not enough.  I would attend a service, sit by myself, sing the songs, listen to the sermon and then leave.  I maybe hugged a few people and made small talk really quickly, but that was it.

Attendance at a specific church/denomination is not going to bring community, fellowship, edification, encouragement and deep growth in your faith.  It’s about relationship.  It’s about going deeper.

I’m sorry, but you cannot have a real relationship with someone if you only spend 1 hour with them a week.  

Again— that goes for your relationship with God AND His people.

So I started reaching out to some old friends.  Friends from college who love Jesus.  I have been consistently FaceTiming with one of them every week.  We share about life, struggles, fears, desires, etc. then we pray together.  It has made a HUGE difference in my heart.  Every time we talk my cup is filled to overflowing.  I walk away with new insight, encouragement and a sense of purpose.

The “Church” in the Bible was not just about worshipping God.  It was not just a place you go to sing to Him and learn about Him.  It was not just a structure of leaders and a list of rules to follow.  Although important, it was not only about traditions and rituals.

The “Church” was (and still is) the Body of Christ— His followers.  And they met together—yes to worship—but also to encourage and edify one another in the faith; to spur one another on through hardship; to lift up those who were less fortunate or forgotten; to pray over one another and help break the chains of evil, sin and injustice; to break bread TOGETHER and remember collectively what God did through Jesus Christ; AND to be on mission together to share the gospel among the nations.

If you don’t believe me— read the book of Acts.

I have experienced this kind of church on two occasions.  Once when I went on a mission trip to Central Asia.  I was in college at the time.  The group of missionaries there met together weekly.

There was no worship band.  There was no stage.  There was no sermon.  There wasn’t a ministry staff.  It was just a group of people who love Jesus.  They ate together, sang together, read scripture out loud, and then went around the circle and shared testimonies about their week.  Then they talked about the mission of sharing the gospel.  They encouraged one another and prayed about how to love people in the community.  It was absolutely beautiful.

The other experience of a church like this was when I went to the “house church” my brother and his family attend.  Same thing— simple community with intention and depth.  They always share a meal together and it’s a safe place to be vulnerable with one another, sing, pray, worship together and learn from each other…

So you see?  When it comes down to it, we have all that we need to make decisions regarding “church.”  If you didn’t notice a common denominator— the Bible— that’s important in a church.  But besides that it doesn’t have to be overwhelming.  It doesn’t have to be about the division or discrepancies in doctrine.  It’s about Jesus and your fellow man.. period.  If you are in line with Him and at peace with His people, He will lead you away from the lies.  He will show You the truth.

Now we could go around and around on the different structures and rules of tradition in the church; the reasons different denominations and doctrines exist.  I do believe there is value in it all.  God is a God of order and there is power in tradition, obviously— I mean look at the Bible.  God has preserved the Holy Scriptures for millennia.  That’s incredible and deserves recognition and credibility, of course.

My point, though, is it’s not about a location.  It’s not about a building or specific rituals.  When Jesus was speaking to a Samaritan woman at a well he said, 

“believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem…a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth” (John 4:21-24 emphasis added).

God is bigger than the nonsense.  He is faithful to guide you to where He wants you to be.  You can worship Him anywhere and everywhere.  And if you ask Him and genuinely seek out that community, you will find it.  He will surround you with His followers and He will use you to love them the same way He uses them to love you.  Unity in the Body of Christ is so close to His heart.

Church is not meant to be “the thing you do” as a Christian.  It’s not something on a list to check off and say you did it.  It’s not a concert, an exclusive social club or a place just for people of economic status and cleanliness.  It’s not where you go to reset and confess your sins so you can go back to the things of the world the next day.  It’s not a place to hobnob and get on the pastor’s good side.  It’s not a hub for certain political views.  It’s not just a place to give to “charity” and get a tax write-off.

Church is not a place, it’s the Body of Christ.  It’s for real people, with real feelings and real problems who want to be REAL about their faith.  It’s for spiritual growth through connection with others and worshiping Jesus.

Be encouraged my brother or sister.  We are in this together.

Remember: You are loved.