Kristen Henderlong

What is God’s will for your life?  What is His will for mine?

As Christians we wrestle with this question a lot.  It’s similar to the question everyone asks themselves— “What is my purpose?”

I think we make it more complicated than it has to be.  But it’s understandable considering all the options out there.  We are bombarded with millions of decisions from day to day.  Living in a culture of consumerism, everywhere you turn, someone is trying to sell you something— am I right?  And when we need something for day to day living, there’s rarely one option to choose from. SO MANY CHOICES!!!

If you go to the grocery store, there’s dozens of brands for each item you might need.  Toilet paper; cheese; crackers; potatoes; oatmeal.  You have to pick one.  How do you know which one to choose?  Is one better than the other?  Is one right and one wrong?  How do you know? 

Choices can be so overwhelming.  Food choices at the store are one thing, but choices about life are where it’s obviously more difficult.  We only get one life, right?  So how do I pick how to live it?  I don’t want to waste it.  But I can’t do it all… there’s not enough time.  So I have to choose how to live.  I have to pick a few things I want to do.  But how?

This is where God’s will comes in.  I mean assuming you’re a Christian— it’s pretty well understood in Christian circles that “God’s will” is what we should be doing… right?

So how do we know what His will is?

I wrestle with this on a regular basis.  The more I look to Him and ask Him, the more He has shown me.  I still feel clueless sometimes, but here’s what I’ve learned:

A professor of mine who has since passed on, shared a little imagery with a few of us students back in college.  He said God’s will can be like a big circle and we are like a dot in the middle of the circle.  There are many directions and choices we could make while still being within the circle of “His will.”  It’s not always clear and specific.  It’s more about the intention of the heart when making the choices we make.

So how do I make sure the intentions of my heart are within His will?

Well, after years of begging God to show me my big and significant purpose… I repeatedly felt like He was being quiet.  There were so many days I thought something was wrong with me because I thought I wasn’t hearing His voice.  Yet as time went on, my hunger and thirst for Him grew deeper and stronger.  I kept going to Him for answers, left without answers, but was filled with peace and comfort.  

It took a series of prayers, conversations with friends and genuinely trying to listen to finally realize God was consistently and gently responding to me with a calm and quiet “It’s ok…I am here…keep coming to me… is this not enough?”

The funny thing is… God was always speaking, it’s just never what I wanted to hear Him say.  I wanted to hear Him tell me to go get a masters degree in something significant.  I wanted Him to tell me what gifts and abilities He wanted me to use for a career.  I wanted Him to tell me something specific about what to DO.  I wanted a “worldly” purpose… something I could say “this is who I am because this is what I do.”

Today, before writing this post, I came across this verse in Matthew chapter 7 verses 21-23

“Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ Will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgement day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in Your name and cast out demons in Your name and performed miracles in Your name.’ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws’” (Matt. 7:21-23).

Wow.  There He is… speaking to me right now.  Like duh, Kristen.  Could He be anymore clear?  It’s not about what you can do for Him.  It’s not about what you look like to others.  It’s not about finding your identity in a significant career or worldly purpose.

Yesterday, I had an encouraging conversation with a friend about all of this. We discussed the reality of getting older and just not really having a plan for the rest of life; wanting to have a job that feels like I am making a difference in the world; questioning if I should be doing something else or something more… wondering why I wasn’t hearing from God about it.

After sharing some things and encouraging each other we prayed together.  Then she said, “You know, Kristen, our chat is reminding me of something I read in a devotional book about God creating flowers in a field that may never be seen by others, yet they’re beautiful and God still allows them to bloom.  Maybe you were meant for beauty.”

If taken out of context or misunderstood, it could seem very shallow to be ‘meant for beauty.’  Like it’s just about looks or outer appearance… and that’s not at all what she meant. What my friend was saying is, regardless of who sees or what significance I might hold in the world, what matters is the state of my heart blooming before God.  Beauty and purity of heart matters to Him.  ‘Beauty of heart’ reminds me of ‘righteousness’… and righteousness is simply ‘right relationship’ with God.  It’s all about unity with Him.

That’s why His response to me was consistently not about doing something or going somewhere, but about being with Him.

He doesn’t want me to go and do all these amazing things to earn His love or approval.  God can do what He wants to accomplish with or without me.  But He wants me.  He wants my devotion and relationship.  Then naturally come good works.

He feels the same about you, my friend.  He wants your heart.  Not your good works.

Remember: You are loved.