Kristen Henderlong

Have you ever been misunderstood? Have you ever been stereotyped? I have. Sometimes stereotypes can be true, but being misunderstood can feel lonely and frustrating.

Take Christianity for example. It’s one of the largest religions of the world. In my experience, it has been highly misunderstood by so many people; including myself over the years. Stereotyped. I am still learning what it really means.

Historically, do you know what Christians called themselves in the early years?  They referred to themselves as: People of “The Way.”  Which makes sense considering what Jesus said, recorded in the Gospel of John, “I am the way, the truth and the life” (John 14:6).

“The Way” implies only one.  It’s not “These Ways.”  Christianity stood out and grew like wildfire in those early years.  People of The Way were overwhelmed with a conviction.  They carried around this secret that was not so much a secret anymore.  A mystery being revealed that was so exciting, they could not contain it.

Today it seems as though “Christians” are perceived as many different things including: an exclusive social club, a self-righteous religious group, political conservatives, fake happy people, naive weaklings, and even extreme things like a cult or lying pedophiles.

Honestly, every single one of these stereotypes breaks my heart.  Does it break my heart because it’s an injustice? Maybe that’s part of it.  But it mostly breaks my heart because I am sure these assumptions or stereotypes people make have empirical evidence to support them.  I am sure anyone reading this, whether a Christian or not, has encountered a person who claims to be a Christian, but lives like a hypocrite.  You may even be thinking to yourself, “I am the hypocrite.”

I was born into a “Christian” family. I went to church most weekends. The older I get and the more experiences I have in everyday life, the more discouraged I become at the way the Church (the people of the church, not the building) is perceived by even some of my closest friends. People I really care about have strong views.  Some come from a place of hurt; some come from a certain background or upbringing, some believe in a different god, some are stubborn and some just don’t care.  And then some just go by what they see. I cannot say I would be any different if I were in their shoes.  The way I was raised definitely impacts my views today, so I understand they are the same.

So why do I have this innate desire to set the record straight? You may be wondering: Do you claim to be a Christian? If so, how do you know it’s right?

Well…I do not necessarily believe my view is the whole, right view.  Nor do I think it’s my way or the highway.  I try to be very openminded and consider points of view outside my comfort zone.  

However, I think there is a difference between having an opinion about a worldview and having a deep, unwavering conviction about life.  My conviction in this case is that every stereotype out there is just that: a stereotype.  There’s ALWAYS exceptions to anything.  Really NOTHING is always exactly what it seems.  One, two or even five bad experiences with a particular group or belief does not define the whole.  This goes for any and all religions, ethnicities, cultures, etc. And it should not define who I am when I call myself a Christian.

Do I feel the need to convince everyone that Christianity is right? No I don’t.  But I do feel the conviction to communicate that Christianity is definitely not what it may seem at any given time.  And for every known situation or story of misunderstanding and hurt in this area, I probably know more stories of healing, transformation and joy.

There’s something beautiful about recognizing our shared humanity.  Across all nations, languages, ethnicities, cultures, color, etc.  We share humanity.  We share family, friends, relationship, connection, emotions, thoughts, etc.  Anyone can agree we need each other.

So early Christians referred to themselves as people of “The Way.”  Do you know how Jesus referred to himself?  He called himself “The Son of Man.”  With this title, he emphasized his humanity.  He drew attention to his connection to us, rather than his divine identity.  He could have called himself God or the son of God (others did).  He could have demanded utmost respect and high esteem. But he didn’t.  No other person called Jesus the Son of Man.  Only Jesus.  He is recorded as using this title 80 times throughout the Gospels in the Bible.

What is Christianity?  The word Christian literally means a follower of Christ.  Christianity is about following Jesus and who He is.  Now, can someone who claims to be a Christian make mistakes? Absolutely.  Are they still a human being if they do things they regret? Absolutely.

I am still learning how to be a Christian… how to follow Jesus… how to be a genuine human.

What I have learned is, at the end of the day, love is what matters.  Not stereotypes or status quo.  At the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, I think every person on the planet can agree that love is what we seek; love is what we long for.  Sure, kindness can go a long way, but human beings were created for connection, community and love.  And I will be the first to admit that Christians don’t always do this well.   But the Bible does say, “God is love, and whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” (1 John 4:8).

I try to follow Jesus in thought and deed, which is what a “Christian” is supposed to be.  But I fail just like everyone else.  So I focus on love and make that my goal.  Even when I mess up I try again because life without love isn’t worth living. I have to love myself through failure and love others who aren’t perfect just like me.

I don’t mean you have to “be in love” to find meaning in life.  Love is so much more than having a significant other.  What I am saying is: embrace love, give love, be love to everyone you encounter and be willing to receive love from others and from God even when you don’t believe you deserve it.  You won’t be disappointed.

There is so much more to say, but this is enough for now. Stay tuned for another day. If nothing else, remember: You are loved.

“…love endures all things…” 1 Corinthians 13:7